I’m back– and feeling fine.

When life seems to throw too much at us at once, it may not matter if we have a bag full of tools to manage stress. What matters is if we are getting what we need so we can balance what’s coming our way.

I tend to be the one in the crowd that has a very high level of self-care. For many years, I add daily doses of stillness, eat intuitively and do a variety of other things that work well for me. It is the lifestyle I have. Yet after months of family illnesses, friends and family funerals, my eighteen year-old dog passing away, and surgery, I found myself face to face with true imbalance. I threw more self-care and nurturing my way, but what I needed was a radical reset.

I took a break from several things in order to totally reboot––and it worked! Balance is back.

If I were a client, I would have probably seen the need sooner, but I kept telling myself that I already have superior care. Silly, huh?

The next time you feel imbalance tapping you on the shoulder, stop and pay attention a moment. And instead of judging based on how much self-care you think you already have, listen deeply to what has changed and update the way you meet your needs so your care matches what is going on in the present.

A quick review may be all it takes to see clearly that stress has been playing a bigger game. When you see that, you know that you have to change the way you respond. It really is that simple.

Next, I’ll share five ways to recognize when you need a radical response to stress…

I have been basking in the warm sun on this chilly morning, teacup in hand, looking back over my holiday time spent with friends and family. We really dove into some downtime here. Unlike I do on some breaks, I stopped work and handed myself over to 24/7 time with family––and we all had twice the amount of laughter and lightness to show for it! (I know it’s been a great holiday when, instead of waiting for things to “get back to normal,” I find that I’m drinking in dozens of happy memories as I drink my tea.)

I talk and write a lot about the need for small breaks and pauses throughout the day or week, but maybe not enough about truly stopping. While mini respites do help us to restore and manage stress, when we truly stop we open ourselves up to deeper levels of rejuvenation.

If your holiday time was more labor than leisure, it’s not too late to use a new year as an excuse to start stopping…

• If you want to stop eating junk food, pick up some healthier fare the next time you’re at the store.
• Are you tired of too many projects sitting around? Stop TV time for a few days and make a little room to catch up.
• If you want to stop self-neglect, book some regular nurturing time when you fill in the pages of your new planner. If you crave more time with your children or friends, write that down, too! We typically write down the things that are most important. Shouldn’t you and the people you love be included?

Most people do best trying one stop at a time. And remember: changes only seem daunting until we take action!

I invite everyone reading this to add more laughter and lightness to your days by practicing the fine art of stopping. And feel free to share the first thing you chose to stop with the rest of us.

This was the case when I decided to prepare for my vacation by stacking my schedule, omitting my “studio days” for a few weeks. I thought it would prevent some post-vacation stress to get more done before the trip. But my plan backfired, and I came down with a case of overwhelm before I even left.

Studio days are the one day a week that I hand myself over to painting, photography, drawing or something else associated with art or creativity. I had it in my head that since I was going to take a few weeks off for a photography-rich vacation, I could do without my weekly fix for a time. I could not have been more wrong. But overload can arrive bearing gifts of insight. Like reminding me that even those little “luxuries” woven into my life aren’t luxuries at all. They’re the glue that keeps me together when life pulls me in too many directions.

I headed out on our road trip remembering that what’s essential to my life balance mustn’t be judged. My weekly art time, those lovely blank spaces in my planner, movement and massages… these are just a few of the proven essentials that continually invite me back “home” to balance– and I’m sticking with what works.

Have you ever shaved something from your schedule and felt your scales start to tip? Perhaps the seemingly insignificant omission was actually a vital part of your life balance. Why not take a moment to consider which routines currently act as your glue, and you may avoid accidentally breaking what’s working well for you.

I took in the sounds, smell and beautiful green hues surrounding me and felt myself start to reboot.

We often wonder how we can carve out more time to recharge when some simple ways can take no real time at all. I’ve been having fun experimenting with restoring my own energy in new ways as I’m writing the Effortless Life Series– a new program that’s coming out in June.

While writing the “Effortless Energy” piece, I seemed to dive more deeply into how my own personal energy gets directed from moment to moment. I came to realize that I have a favorite effortless refresher, one I never need to find time for. It works with a type of “invisible time” that already exists for all of us.

I refer to this time as the “spaces in between.” They’re those miss-them-if-you-blink periods between completing a task, activity or appointment, before going on to something else. Most of us never give that space a second look. But some true magic can be had if we stop ignoring them.

Take a moment after checking something off your to-do list, and instead of completing your emails for the day, then jumping up to run your child to piano and pick up milk, allow yourself a moment to breeeeathe. Notice what you have accomplished. Focus on what you DID get done. Feel what you feel. Then, give yourself a little “atta-girl” (or if it was a big day, some woohoo-style appreciation) before moving to the next thing calling to you.

This pause is such an uncomplicated way to practice presence. And while it may seem too simple– or even silly– I can tell you that it helps many of us insert the missing ingredient we need to effortlessly rejuvenate during the day.

Try this favorite reboot of mine for yourself, then come back and share a favorite of your own…

In honor of my mother, and all the other resilient moms out there, I’m giving away the digital “Daily Do-ables: Creative Stress Solutions for Busy Women.” This unique subscription ebook will arrive each wee in your inbox for 52 weeks!

Can you use a little effortless stress relief and self-care? Just click the book cover on the sidebar to get yours. Then tell every busy woman you know, because this giveaway ends at the end of Mother’s Day week  (May 16th)…

The hard part…
After a frightening diagnosis of Inflammatory Breast Disease, my mother was given about four months to live.
The inspiring part…
That was almost ten years ago.

Her journey is her own, yet all who love her share it. Today, she’s still beautifully battling cancer as she plans to enjoy another Mother’s Day this month.

I believe that her amazing resiliency is due in part to changes she made in her self-care. For many women– even healthy women– this is not a simple thing to do.

Watch for a special giveaway this week that can help changes around your self-care feel almost effortless…

Just like lack of rain or extreme temperatures in a garden, our life is full of things that can cause us strain. Left untended, this stress will require us to point more of our energies in the direction of trying to stay strong and survive. On the other hand, if we tend our inner garden, adding the things that will meet the needs of what we plant in our lives, we support our ability to thrive.

When you help yourself feel happier and healthier, you can not only accomplish more, you also feel great along the way!

Can you see yourself standing over a patch of little garden plants withholding water while insisting that they still grow and produce? Tending to their needs isn’t selfish, is it? Well, the same goes for your needs. Holding back what you genuinely need holds you back. It’s the opposite of what works.

Instead, give yourself more of what you love, what feels simply delicious to you so you can tend to and restore yourself.

Then why not share some of your favorite self-nurturing ideas here on the blog to inspire other women…

In my experience, solo-flying women need to find two voices: their outer voice and their inner voice. The outer voice seems to get the most attention, but it’s the inner voice that’s often the missing piece to both balancing their stress, and to making their life come true.

Think of your outer voice as the commonly understood one used to name the message you want to share with the world. Your inner voice is the one that comes from your knowing. This voice could easily be re-named the forgotten voice.

As you zip through your day, everything from recent profits to parenting can stay at the forefront of your mind, muffling your inner voice. The voice can get pushed back even further when the message isn’t what your mind wants to hear. When this happens, an almost inaudible “I’m getting pretty hungry,” or “I need more fun,” can get completely drowned out by the mind’s chosen message. “I really need to stop now,”  then disappears under, “I still have time to get a few more calls in,” causing our self-care to take another hit.

After a while, this weaker volume can become the norm and the inner voice may slip away entirely. You’re left feeling disconnected and tired. If this sounds familiar, why not try an baby step to turn up the volume?
Start to notice when you over-ride your own inner voice. Think about how much better you could feel if you began honoring even a few of your true needs, then practice taking action the moment: when you feel hungry, thirsty or ready for a break, listen to your inner voice. Doing this a few times each day helps you to reconnect to yourself, and to your greater possibilities.

You’re so close now. Once you’ve completely emptied folders 1, 2 and 3, you’re left with your 30-Day folder to scrub.  Consider the following two options:

1. If you’re ready to “select all” and “delete,” woohoo—go for it!

2. If you lock-up when you think about erasing this last assortment, you can try a more effortless approach…

Wait.

That’s right. Just sit back and wait. If you wait for 30 days before you look in this folder again, you will know the importance of its contents. You can then take one last look, knowing that this batch was given several chances to prove itself worthy, and what remains repeatedly failed to pass your “true value” test. Deleting should be easy.

Now, how are you going to celebrate?

Take a painless approach to this. Ask yourself the following question:

What collects in my inbox that I never, ever make time to read?

Now, before moving on to folder number 3, why not celebrate your progress? I think a piece of rich, dark chocolate will do quite nicely. If you’re not a chocolate fan, grab another melt-in-you-mouth-treat before you get going. You know the routine by now…

Scan, scan again, then file the remaining email from folder number 3 in your 30-Day folder.

Do you feel that— the upsurge of exhilaration that comes from completing something big? Don’t stop now. If you get distracted, take a deep breath and simply return to the task at hand. Just keep thinking about how you’ll really celebrate after tomorrow!