Valerie Thomson, founder of 
Carolyn Scarborough, routine guest blogger, is a journalist/coach who shares inspiring messages for busy women.
Mood Chocolates
The other day, I was at a friend’s house and we were chatting while she made brownies for a school fundraiser. As we talked, her daughter came home from school, slammed down her books, and said she felt terrible because she’d done poorly on a math test.
As she talked, her mood got worse and worse. “I never do well on tests,” she continued. “School is horrible and I’ll never survive!”
While this may be a typical bout of teen angst, she did what we all do from time to time. When her bad mood came to the door, she invited it in, let it lounge on the couch and fed it chocolates.
Typically, it’s been written that a mood lasts from 3-5 seconds before it changes. If we’re in tune, we can see the subtle changes and eventually it will pass. But if we aren’t aware, we start indulging it (with thoughts like “Oh, this always happens to me!”) and unintentionally feed it until it’s so big it can barely move, let alone get out the door.
This week, see what thoughts typically come to mind that amplify your moods? If you’d like, share them here on the blog, then thank them for visiting and scoot them along. They don’t need several servings of chocolate any more than we do!
Posted by Carolyn on February 10th, 2008 in balancing work & play.
Comments: 2
Comments
Comment from Barb
Time: February 11, 2008, 4:03 pm
While I agree that the attitude “this always happens to me” or “I am terrible at this” reinforces a negative idea that tends to manifest itself, never under estimate the power of chocolate which is a natural mood elevator. My husband and I noticed an increase in mood when we started eating natural raw cacoa beans. The nutrients in them do help normalize the levels of brain neurotransmitters which heavily influence mood. I often think there is a “chicken and egg” question going on here: Are we unable to shake the mood because our neurotransmitters are out of whack? Or are our neurotransmitters out of whack because we can’t shack the mood? Probably a bit of both. The mind body connection is powerful and the good news is we can work at both ends to lead happier more productive lives.
Comment from Sandy
Time: February 11, 2008, 5:52 pm
You are so right about “thanking them for visiting” as the way to “scoot thoughts along.” I’ve learned that what we call indulging is actually resisting. As contradictory as it sounds, making ourselves wrong for having negative thoughts is what keeps them in place.
When challenged, our thoughts dig in and try to prove to us they are right. However, when we simply acknowledge the negative feelings with understanding self-talk beginning with “you” as in, “You feel like this always happens to you,” our thoughts get to come back with, “Yes, I do!” a couple of times, then without the need to prove anything, quickly dissipate. “Thank you for sharing” really is the key to moving through upsets without chocolate, if that’s your goal.
We can also teach this skill to our kids by voicing “you statements” for them until they pick it up. A simple, understanding, “You didn’t like that,” will do more than chocolate ever could.
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